7 Ways to Make Long Distance Relationships Work


7 Ways to Make Long Distance Relationships Work

You met online, and you’re nowhere near each other. Or maybe you just started dating, and suddenly, one of you is moved halfway across the country for a new job. There are also those who have been dating for a while, and one of you needs to go to grad school (or whatever else) in a different state. You can either break up, be “friends,” or you can do things to make it work and stay together.

  1. Focus on a Goal
    • The pain and difficulty would be pointless without one. Build together towards something, whether it’s the promise that you’ll move to the same city, get married, or start a family together soon.
    • Often times, individuals with different goals and agendas will most likely not be able to stand the test of time. Ensure that your relationship lasts, set a goal, and take concrete steps to make it happen.
  2. Text + Call, Communicate!
    • Communication is king in relationships. Tag Facebook memes, write blurbs and cute “thinking of you” messages to your loved one, just in case they forget they’re the center of your universe.
    • Call during lunch breaks or on the way home. Make sure she/he is one of the first things you wake up and fall asleep to.
  3. Skype and FaceTime Daily
    • Fact: Things get lost in text-translation. (Especially if you don’t believe in emoticons). Being in the same room and face to face would be ideal, but the next best thing is ironically, another tech feature, Skype and Facetime! Whether you use the app Tango or stick to a more traditional Google Webchat, do it. Make sure to have conversations where you get to see one another and talk with tone, voice, and facial expression.
  4. Visit Each Other Monthly
    • My boyfriend at the time would visit me every other month. I would also travel back to Chicago on those months where he couldn’t come to Atlanta. It was also nice to have weddings and events to attend together, giving additional reason to travel and party with your significant other.
    • Traveling, flights, and rental cars can definitely get expensive, but it’s almost always necessary for most couples. Put your money where your heart is, literally, and go see your SO!
  5. Ask Good Questions
    • If you talk on the phone everyday, won’t you run out of things to talk about? Yes, if you’re asking the same questions everyday. Make sure you listen to how they’re feeling, what happened during the day, and dig deeper into how it affected them.
    • Active listening means staying engaged in the conversation (and not browsing on the internet), asking good follow up questions, and summarizing and understanding the information. This will allow you go leaps and bounds toward building the “us” mentality, beyond the miles between you.
    • Here’s a list of questions you could ask: Interesting Questions to Ask a Guy
    • Here’s some more: Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
  6. Send Snail Mail
    • Don’t you wish those credit card companies would send you gifts and encouragements rather than bills, bills, and more bills? For any friendship, college bound student, or relationship, good snail mail is usually a highlight to one’s day.
    • Package baked goods, snacks, photos, or stuffed animals. Anything that allows your bf/gf to remember the good times, and soften your heart before the next time you see one another. Make sure to write a poetic letter too! Those make any girl’s heart melt.
  7. Savor Your Time Together
    • When you do get to see each other that one weekend a month, make it count. Don’t get upset and fight about the fact that one of you is suddenly leaving on the next flight. Make the most of your time, give your undivided attention, and hug his/her tears away! That one moment of love and affection can give you the strength to endure through the next month without each other.

What are some other ways you stay on the same page with your boyfriend/girlfriend? If you’ve been in a long distance relationship, what kept your relationship together?