Love can blind you, and often times, you can be so blind that you don’t know you’re hurting. When you’re dating, always listen to the honest opinions of close friends and family members who see the things you clearly can’t. When you get three or more negative confirmations from your accountability regarding the girl or guy you are dating, you have yourself a problem. So then what? Fix it (there’s a limit to this), or get out while you can.
Here are a few ways to reflect upon your relationship. Do you or your significant other feel any of these things?
- You Feel Unsafe
- Either he’s verbally and emotionally abused you or taken a weapon and threatened you with it… get out now. Guys, this goes for you too with your girlfriends. If you feel anxious and worried about seeing her because of fear, don’t be with her. You, reader, are fearfully and wonderfully made, created to experience and taste the goodness of the world in which you live. Do not waste your time with someone who makes you believe otherwise. Don’t waste your worth on someone who can’t see you for who you truly are. Find help, reach out to a friend, teacher, pastor, or parents, and make the change you need to move on and heal.
- You Don’t Communicate
- When there’s shallow communication or no real face-to-face conversations with your significant other, there’s a possibility that you two don’t understand one another nor do you intend to. Texting, messages, and email can be methods of conversation, but they shouldn’t be the basis of how you communicate.
- Communication is a two way street, and the harder part is listening. If either you or your partner don’t do your part in listening to the other, it might be an unnecessary relationship.
- There are also times when one side of the relationship is unable to speak honestly or openly with the other. This also leads to a break down in communication and ultimately the relationship. He or she may not be ready for a real relationship.
- You Can’t Trust Him/Her
- Whether it’s because of infidelity, numerous partners, or incessant flirting, you can’t trust him/her. There is a healthy amount of “jealousy,” one that brings about desires of being with one person and one person alone. But if it’s to a point where you (or the bf/gf) have become overbearing, constantly texting, asking about whereabouts, or even stalking, you obviously don’t trust him/her.
- Without trust, a relationship cannot stand. One person cannot build and hold up the relationship on his/her own. It takes two to tango, and if he/she cheats on you, bring your worth to someone who will cherish it.
- It’s an Unhealthy (Physical) Relationship
- With recent trends of couples moving in together, living together before marriage, and sleeping together before committing to one another, the culture has set the tone for relationships to be unhealthy off the bat. Once you’ve crossed it, it’s nearly impossible to uncross it if you continue to be with him/her. The best way to heal is to take time off.
- But when it comes to “Netflix and Chill,” and the guy/gal just can’t chill and keep his hands to himself, you need a reality check. Every time a physical act happens between a man and female, a part of him/herself is forever lost. That one moment of fiery passion can ruin your lifetime of true intimacy and marriage with your future beloved.
- You Can’t See a Future with Him/Her
- If you can’t see yourself growing, loving, and committing to this person in the next ten years, you shouldn’t be together. Yes, there’s a period of time in which one should get to know someone, but if it’s been 3-5 years of “getting to know one another” aka being together without intent to get married, don’t waste your time.
- People can say lofty things to get you to do things you don’t necessarily want, but have respect for yourself and just say no. Remember, it’s never official until there’s a ring, and you’re going down the aisle.
If you have any thoughts on the topic of break ups, feel free to leave a comment. If you don’t find yourself agreeing with the 5 points on this post, perhaps you’ve found the one! Here’s my link to another post on 10 Reasons Why You Belong Together.