5 Reasons You Should Break Up

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Love can blind you, and often times, you can be so blind that you don’t know you’re hurting. When you’re dating, always listen to the honest opinions of close friends and family members who see the things you clearly can’t. When you get three or more negative confirmations from your accountability regarding the girl or guy you are dating, you have yourself a problem. So then what? Fix it (there’s a limit to this), or get out while you can.

Here are a few ways to reflect upon your relationship. Do you or your significant other feel any of these things?

  1. You Feel Unsafe
    • Either he’s verbally and emotionally abused you or taken a weapon and threatened you with it… get out now. Guys, this goes for you too with your girlfriends. If you feel anxious and worried about seeing her because of fear, don’t be with her. You, reader, are fearfully and wonderfully made, created to experience and taste the goodness of the world in which you live. Do not waste your time with someone who makes you believe otherwise. Don’t waste your worth on someone who can’t see you for who you truly are. Find help, reach out to a friend, teacher, pastor, or parents, and make the change you need to move on and heal.
  2. You Don’t Communicate
    • When there’s shallow communication or no real face-to-face conversations with your significant other, there’s a possibility that you two don’t understand one another nor do you intend to. Texting, messages, and email can be methods of conversation, but they shouldn’t be the basis of how you communicate.
    • Communication is a two way street, and the harder part is listening. If either you or your partner don’t do your part in listening to the other, it might be an unnecessary relationship.
    • There are also times when one side of the relationship is unable to speak honestly or openly with the other. This also leads to a break down in communication and ultimately the relationship. He or she may not be ready for a real relationship.
  3. You Can’t Trust Him/Her
    • Whether it’s because of infidelity, numerous partners, or incessant flirting, you can’t trust him/her. There is a healthy amount of “jealousy,” one that brings about desires of being with one person and one person alone. But if it’s to a point where you (or the bf/gf) have become overbearing, constantly texting, asking about whereabouts, or even stalking, you obviously don’t trust him/her.
    • Without trust, a relationship cannot stand. One person cannot build and hold up the relationship on his/her own. It takes two to tango, and if he/she cheats on you, bring your worth to someone who will cherish it.
  4. It’s an Unhealthy (Physical) Relationship
    • With recent trends of couples moving in together, living together before marriage, and sleeping together before committing to one another, the culture has set the tone for relationships to be unhealthy off the bat. Once you’ve crossed it, it’s nearly impossible to uncross it if you continue to be with him/her. The best way to heal is to take time off.
    • But when it comes to “Netflix and Chill,” and the guy/gal just can’t chill and keep his hands to himself, you need a reality check. Every time a physical act happens between a man and female, a part of him/herself is forever lost. That one moment of fiery passion can ruin your lifetime of true intimacy and marriage with your future beloved.
  5. You Can’t See a Future with Him/Her
    • If you can’t see yourself growing, loving, and committing to this person in the next ten years, you shouldn’t be together. Yes, there’s a period of time in which one should get to know someone, but if it’s been 3-5 years of “getting to know one another” aka being together without intent to get married, don’t waste your time.
    • People can say lofty things to get you to do things you don’t necessarily want, but have respect for yourself and just say no. Remember, it’s never official until there’s a ring,  and you’re going down the aisle.

If you have any thoughts on the topic of break ups, feel free to leave a comment. If you don’t find yourself agreeing with the 5 points on this post, perhaps you’ve found the one! Here’s my link to another post on 10 Reasons Why You Belong Together.

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10 Tips to Plan Well for Your Substitute Teacher

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I’ve been subbing for the past four months, and here’s what I’ve learned so far. I like teachers who are detail-oriented, organized, and (overwhelmingly) over-prepared. Teachers, imagine being put into your sub’s shoes. Can you imagine being thrown into a den of 25+ hormonal adolescents who act as wolves in sight of prey?

For those teachers in need of a sub, here’s how to avoid a mess and retain your subs for all future sick, professional development, or “teacher ditch” days:

  1. Lesson Plan & Attendance
    • I love lesson plans. I love organization. Most teachers cannot survive without either. Classroom instructors have had the whole year to figure out what their students are like and how to teach them effectively. Subs have exactly 45-50 minutes to do that. Be nice; leave a lesson plan for your substitute.
    • I also appreciate it when classroom teachers leave general knowledge and tips on fire drills, tornado warnings, and with the recent turn of events, school shootings and lock downs. It doesn’t have to be incredibly detailed, but make sure you put emergency instructions it in your general sub folder so your admin knows you’re prepared for all situations.
    • Make sure you address student attendance! How can the students learn if they’re not in class? Prepare printed rosters for the sub to deliver to the attendance office or give detailed explanations for how to do it online.
  2. Expectations for the Students
    • Once upon a time, there was a teacher who left a set of expectations and objectives for me, and it nearly made the substitute cry tears of joy. She gave her clear communication for what the classroom guidelines were and her expectations for the sub as the adult in the room. The students knew what was expected from them, and it made it easier to know how the classroom teacher usually runs the classroom.
  3. Seating Chart
    • Every time I sub in a new classroom, I get asked, “How do you know all of our names?” And to that I respond, “I just know.” But realistically, I only know because great teachers leave a seating chart or create “name tents” (tri-folded piece of paper with student’s name) for me to read. I usually take notes about talkative students and those focused on being quiet and doing their work so having the names are helpful to connect, even though you may only see them for 45 minutes. The thought goes a long way.
  4. Student Helpers, Troublemakers, and Helpful Teachers
    • Some teachers leave a list of good and bad apples of the classroom. This allows for your sub to be attentive to those who have a tendency to break trust and integrity while their usual classroom guardian isn’t around. Taking a lesson from Santa Claus and having a list of naughty and nice informs subs to know who to trust and know when the student may be taking advantage of the sub.
    • A short list of 2 to 3 teachers and their locations can also be helpful, especially when it’s the sub’s first time in the school. This allows the substitute to build some camaraderie with teachers, build rapport, and not screw up your lunch duty/supervisory/advisory periods.
  5. Schedule
    • Teachers, leave your class schedule with times and endings to each of the school periods. This is self explanatory, so substitutes don’t need to keep asking their students when the period ends.
    • It can also be helpful to leave a heading in your lesson plan regarding times and subject matter. (Examples below)
      • Period 1: Advisory: 9:00am-9:45am
      • Period 8: 8th Grade Language Arts: 2:00pm-2:45pm
  6. Extra Copies
    • Does your copy room have a code to get in and make copies? Your sub probably doesn’t know that code. Make sure you leave enough copies for each of your classes. Include extras for absentees who didn’t attend school, otherwise, you sub may be scrambling to find where they can get those assignments.
  7. Create a Key
    • Sometimes students need a little guidance on how to to each problem. You as the classroom teacher know this. Leaving a key and allowing the sub to have the answers gives them room to be a teacher like yourself. When I’ve been given answer keys, it’s easy for me to walk around and inform students when they’re on the right track. It also gives me room to correct and help them get the correct answer.
  8. The Just in Case Assignment
    • Sometimes the students are incredibly focused and quiet, and they finish quickly. In preparation for those times, make sure that you leave an additional assignment, worksheet, or set of instructions to lead and facilitate the remaining 10-15 minutes. If you don’t want to leave your kids to have 15 minutes of unorganized, free time, plan ahead.
  9. Rewards or Hard Candy
    • In addition to expectations, you can also leave rewards. Let the substitute know that you’ll reward your students for doing what’s expected of them the following day, or leave tangible rewards for the sub. Some classrooms have team names and points, fake money, or candy to give as rewards. This gives substitute teachers something else to work with.
  10. Be Positive
    • Leave a positive note just to make your substitute feel prepared for the day. Let them know you think they’re going to do great, or say something about having a great schedule. Your substitute is never a robot, rather a person with feelings, principles, and a life. Never forget the common ground on which we meet as humanity.

What are some other tips you’d give teachers as subs or yourself as a teacher? How do you plan for your absence? Let me know in the comments below!