My name is Tabitha. I’m a twenty-five year old Korean-American girl who wants to accomplish a lot of things. I’m also a perfectionist – driven by fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of not being my best, and fear of uselessness. To say the least, it’s a crippling foundation to live by.
It’s a constant trend of steady self-conversation, “I need to know more. You need to know more, Tab. Be curious.” And it drives me nuts! It’s almost to the point where I’d have to pick up three more degrees to fully be “qualified” to do the things I want. So many things to do, and so little time on this earth. Where to start first?
Here are some things that I’ve noticed about others who live thriving and inspiring lives. And rather than being a “grown up,” I’m focusing more on those who’ve been owning the process of growing “up”:
- You Reflect:
- Think: The smartest and most inspiring people think. You’d assume that’s obvious, but unfortunately, not many embark on the journey of this natural and easily accessible task. Think about what you want to accomplish for the day. Think about what you want for the month. Think about where you want to be in five years. Think about the problems in the world. Think about how you can be a solution to that problem. It’s bound to make you a more compassionate and well-rounded human being.
- Write: Anything. Anytime. Anywhere. Write about the things you just thought about. Carrying around a journal or typing it into EverNote or Notes on your Apple iPhone can be the best way to get back to those brilliant musings you had over coffee. Maybe you’re a poet, and you don’t yet know it – until you start writing.
- Meditate/Pray: Spiritual, religious, or non-religious, doesn’t matter. Everyone worships or loves something. Think about something positive. Send your family thoughts and good vibes. Meditation and prayer can lead you to a place of gratefulness, a place where true joy can consistently take root and thrive.
- You’re a Life-Long Learner:
- Reading the News: Know what’s going on in the world around you. Download BBC or CNN onto your phone or tablet. Check out New York Times. Subscribe to some magazines. Don’t let your only source of news be Facebook or Twitter. Do some real research, albeit biased; however, if you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you’ll be able to tell right from wrong.
- Read in General: TV, movie, and Netflix-binges of the latest “Jessica Jones” or “Master of None” can be entertaining at times, but don’t let the tube suck your soul dry. Read texts that have been around for centuries. Read biographies, fiction, nonfiction, and mystery thrillers. The library is your oyster of information and knowledge! Get a library card, or turn to the dark side and invest in an e-reader. Either way, reading is an investment in you, and Lord knows, you’re worth it.
- You Listen and then Share:
- Listen: My mother always told me I had two ears to listen and one mouth to share. (Probably because I’d say ridiculous things most of the time). Use mother’s ratio well. Oftentimes, people have a plethora of information and incredible anecdotes that’ll help you through life’s struggles. And sometimes, people just need someone to listen. If you can be that bearer of burdens, please consider doing it. It’s rewarding to walk together in community towards growing up. You might even end up saving someone’s emotional, mental, or physical life.
- Share: Don’t be greedy. There’s enough love to go around. Share the wealth of knowledge, resources, and most importantly, time with those who care about. Also, be very careful about what tone you use. Everyone is different, so sharing bluntly with one man is not going to work the same with a five-year-old girl. Research also shows that once you can teach it to someone else, you’ve truly gotten it for yourself. So go, share, and teach!
- You Know When to Relax
- Rest: God created 7 days in a week. We have weekends for a reason. Take some time off for church/communities, yourself, and your loved ones. You can’t be a whole person unless you allow for fill ups along the way. Life can be defeating, and when you’ve run dry, make sure to take time to breathe. If you happen to work on weekends, make sure to build in time to rest. You’re not a machine.
- You Repeat the Process
- Repeat the process of reflection, learning, conversing and sharing with others, and relaxing.
I hope that the observations and steps were simple and easy to follow. Thanks for joining me onpagetwo.